Little Green Riding Hood
by Girly-Black
Summary: One-shot. Are you tired of reading the same story over and over again? tired of the same old hungry wolf? the same good old Little Red Riding Hood? what about some parody? WARNING: Some cruelty and OOC characthers :P


**Warning:**When I was eight, I used to write stories just like this, and I found it pretty funny! However, some people (as my dad) don't find it very funny. Instead, they get scared of my 'evil mind', but still, I don't think this is a mean story. It made me laugh every time I wrote a sentence! Hahahahahaha. So, I just wrote this because I needed to write a story for my school. (Hope they don't get scared :P)

Pss, I changed my topic four times! So don't be mean, please 

**Little Green Riding Hood**

**By: Girly-Black ;)**

Once upon a time, there was a little girl called Little Green Riding Hood, who lived in the depth of a forest. Her family called her like that because she always dressed a green cloak with hood and because she thought that green was the color of jokes, and she loved jokes. However, the girl's little pranks weren't ordinary jokes. She made evil jokes. She was willing to do bad things to her 'beloved' family and friends.

Although she loved to play with everyone's health, her favorite victim was her grandmother, who was lying in a bed 20 years ago before her granddaughter was born. Little Green Riding Hood loved to put dangerous substances in the old woman's candies, not to mention the bees and ants in her flowers, or the honey mixed with her mom's natural sunscreen.

The worst thing was that no one ever noticed her evil pranks. They thought that everything was an accident, not the little girl's fault, which, apparently, was a cute and innocent girl. They never blame her. And then, when they'd let her alone, she'd laugh evilly.  


So one day, she went to the market to buy some chocolate candies (which she was planning to mix with pepper), and a strawberry juice. She took a basket with her and walked by the multitude of people until she found the man who was selling juices and the Candy Shop.

The juice man, who was fat and small, smiled at her and said,

"What do you need, my dear girl?"

"Strawberry juice, please sir" She replied, and forced herself to smile back. "I need enough for more than ten people"

The man took a packing and put strawberry juice in it. Then, he passed it to Little Green Riding Hood.

"Thank you" She said, and took out a few false-gold-coins of her pocket and gave them to him.

The man smiled again and took the false money to his own pocket, not noticing that these coins were made of bronze and painted with golden paint.

Little Green Riding Hood smiled satisfied and walked right to the Candy Shop. This was one of her favorite jokes. Of course, the juice man would notice the false money, but he would not know who gave it to him.

"Sweetheart!" Exclaimed the thin young lady who was behind counter when she saw Little Green Riding Hood. "How nice to see you, dear!"

"Hey, Emerald!" Said the little girl sweetly "What's up?"

"Not much" Said Emerald "Just organizing some sweets. How about you, my girl?"

"Well, I was buying strawberry juice, and now I'm about to buy chocolate candies for my birthday party tonight!"

"Your birthday!" Exclaimed Emerald "How could I have forgotten about it? I'm sorry, Pearl…"

_Pearl. _

That was Little Green Riding Hood's real name.

"Well, I'm still able to repair my error, right?" Emerald went on "There. How about some free chocolates, sweetie?"

She held up a chocolate box and gave it to the little girl.

"Oh thank you, Emerald!"She said happily "I was gonna pay for that, you know…"

"It's okay, Pearl" Said the kind lady "Happy Birth Day!"

Little Green Riding Hood smiled at her and got out of the Candy Shop and took the way to the forest. Then, while she walked through the trees, she heard a weird noise.

"What could that be?" She asked to herself.

Suddenly, a wolf appeared of between the trees: It looked weak and sad.  
The wolf looked at her and started to cry.

"Please…" He begged "Please, give me some food…"

"Are you crazy?" Asked Little Green Riding Hood angry "Where am I supposed to get you food, stupid wolf?"

"I…I…" The wolf started to cry louder.

"Listen" She went on "You're a _wolf_. You can get food by yourself!"

"No, I cannot!" He cried "I have no teeth!"

"Well, too bad…"

"Please! Please, do something!..."

"Actually," Said the little girl, starting to get mad "I _am_ going to do something…I'm going to poison you with the poison in my basket if you don't go away right _now!_

"Please, don't!"Cried the wolf "All what I want is some food…"

"_I'm going to poison you_…" She sang, taking the strawberry juice out of the basket "_Go away…_"

The wolf screamed and ran away.

"Huh!" Said the little girl. She put the juice back in her basket and kept walking. Of course, it wasn't poison. It was just strawberry juice…but it had been enough for scare the wolf.

When she arrived to her house, she left the basket in a table and took the chocolates with her. Her mom had already decorated the living room with balloons and birthday stuff.

"And there's my little girl!" She exclaimed "Pearl, our guesses are about to arrive. Get ready, please."

"Yes, mom" Little Green Riding Hood said, and went to her bedroom with a nasty expression on her face.

Thirty minutes later, Little Green Riding Hood was dressing the 'stupid-pinkie dress' that her mom had bought for her. "But my favorite color is green" She had insisted "Oh, dear. Let it go, Pearl" Her mom had said.

Little Green Riding Hood walked to the living room, where nine of her friends, her mom, and her weak Grandmother were waiting for her.

"Happy Birthday!" They exclaimed.

The little girl greeted them all, one by one...  
"Hey, Pearl, what do you have in there?" Said one of her male friends, pointing at the box of chocolates, which was almost falling out of her pocket.

"They are…" Little Green Riding Hood didn't want to show them the chocolates until she had put the pepper in them. "Just some chocolates…"

"Oh, oh! Can I take some?" The little boy asked.

"No!" Little Green Riding Hood said "Not…_yet_."

"Not yet?" the boy repeated "Why?"

"Because...Look, I'll share some chocolates, just wait a moment…"

"Oh please! Give me one now…just one!"

"Mmm…" Little Green Riding Hood thought for a moment, and then, she opened the chocolate bag and gave one to the little boy.

"Thanks!" Said the boy, and he turned to the other boys.

Little Green Riding Hood smiled and went to the kitchen, where she took out the chocolates, and put them in a dish. Then, she took the pepper and watered it carefully on the chocolates, so that no one was going to notice that she had added anything to them. _But I'll just get everyone to sneeze, _she thought, _I want something that makes them say 'ewwww, what the heck is this?!'_

And she knew what.

She quickly went to her mom's bedroom and took her perfume. It didn't really smell so much, but it wouldn't be a 'yummy taste'. She giggled and went back to the kitchen, where she sprayed the chocolates with the perfume.

"Pearl, what are you doing?" Her mom's voice came from the living room.  
_Don't call me Pearl,_ she thought. _I am Little Green Riding Hood!_

"Just…I'll be right there in a moment or so" She replied, and took the plate of chocolates with her.  
"Yes! Chocolates!" the kids said happily. "I want some!"  


Little Green Riding Hood made a big smile and let the kids take the chocolates.

"Ugh! Why does it taste so…bitter?" Said a blond girl.

"Does it?" Little Green Riding Hood asked incredulously, as if she knew nothing.

"Yeah!" Said a boy, the one who had asked her for chocolates, "You should try one! They taste terrible!"

Little Green Riding Hood stared at the circular little chocolates, then, she took one and introduced it to her mouth, but she kept her tongue away of it.  
"Uhh!" She said, though she hadn't probed it. She quickly took the candy out of her mouth and said, "So that's why Emerald gave me these free! She knew they were horrible!"

"Emerald?"Asked the other girl.

"The candy seller" Little Green Riding hood said "you know what; I'm going to bring you some strawberry juice so that the bitter taste goes away…"

And with these last words, Little Green Riding Hood went back to the kitchen…

"Hmm…" Murmured the boy who had eaten the good-candy "weird…"

"What?" Asked the blond girl "what's weird?"

"Well, when she opened the chocolate box and gave me one candy, it tasted good…"

"Really?" the girl asked.

"Yes…"

They stared at the each other.

"Wait, are you telling me that it was _her_ who added that ugly taste on the chocolates?" The girl asked.

"Yes, besides, that tasted like perfume…"

"But that can't be…she's so sweet…she would never do that…"

"I don't think she's that sweet." the boy said. "Remember she told us that she liked to make weird jokes? Besides, I'm sure she didn't really taste the chocolate...as if she already knew it was bitter."

"But…" The other said "Oh wait, I think you're right… she said that she loves to make little pranks to her poor and old grandmother…Do you think she meant that kind of pranks?"

"Probably" The boy looked at the plant over the table and said, "Let's play the same game against her."

"How?" Asked the girl, but in that moment, Little Green Riding Hood came back with two glasses of strawberry juice in her hands.

"Okay, so this is mine," She said, putting one of the glasses over the table "and this can be yours, Thomas" She said to the boy. "I'll bring more for mom and the rest of you…"

"Okay" Said her mom, who was at the back of the room with Pearl's grandma and the rest of the kids, so none of them had heard Thomas and the blond girl's conversation.

"I know what to do!" Said Thomas suddenly.

"What?" Asked the blond little girl.

Thomas looked at the plant again. This time he knew what to do. He took a bit of dirt and added it to Little Green Riding Hood's glass.

"There" he said "now I wanna see the look on her face!"

They giggled and waited Little Green Riding Hood to come.

When she had taken all the glasses of strawberry juice to the table, she seat in her chair and took her juice.

"So, I wanted to thank you'll for to come to my house and wished me a Happy Birthday" she said, and she drank the juice.

"Ewwww!!" She cried "Why the heck does it taste like that?"

"Like what?" Asked her mom, who had already drunk her juice.

"Like…dirt?" Thomas asked.

"Yes! Exactly like that…" Said Little Green Riding Hood "Wait, how you know that?"

"Oh, I just thought…"

Little Green Riding Hood stared at the glass. But then, Thomas hit the glass and the juice fell on Little Green Riding Hood's dress.

"WHY DID YOU DO THAT!?" She screamed. All eyes were staring to Thomas, who laughed and said,

"What? isn't funny?"

"Funny!?_ Funny?!_" She asked in a very angry tone "All right then, I'll show you what _funny _is!..." She got up and was about to hit Thomas, but he held her arm and said,

"Pearl, Melissa and I know very well that you have been making these 'jokes' all along…"

"Jokes?" Asked Little Green Riding Hood, starting to get scared "What jokes?"  
"Oh c'mon! You know pretty well what I'm talking about…"

"No, it's you who doesn't know what you're talking about…"

"Oh, we're just talking about the bitter substance in the chocolates that wasn't in there before, or the 'little pranks' that you use to make to your poor Grandma." Said Melissa, the blond girl.

"W-what?" Asked Little Green Riding Hood, scared for the first time in her life.  
"Tell us, ma'am" Said Thomas, turning to the old woman, who was listening the conversation so intrigued. "Have you ever eaten something that looks okay but tastes really bad? Something that _she_ had given to you?"He said, pointing at Little Green Riding Hood.

"Actually, I think I have" Said the old woman "Yeah…that honey…those candies…"

Suddenly, there was a knock in the door. Little Green Riding Hood's mom got up and opened the door. It was the wolf who had asked the little girl for food.

"I'm sorry, but, don't you have something that I could eat-" He noticed Little Green Riding Hood and screamed.

"Ahh!! That's the girl who was gonna poison me!"

"W-what?" Asked the little girl's mom, obviously confused.

"See? She is not nice!" Said Thomas "Now, tell them, Pearl..."

"I…I…" Little Green Riding Hood said "Ok, it's true! All those weird things I have given to you are my jokes!"

"The flowers with bees or ants!" Exclaimed her grandmother.

"My joke…" Said Little Green Riding Hood.

"The strange shampoo that made my hair looked oily for one week!" Said her mom.

"My joke…"

"Or these bitter candies that we just ate!" Said a little boy.

"My…chocolates sprayed with my mom's perfume"

"Pearl Coldstone!"Her mom called her by her complete name. "Why have you been doing all these things?!"

"Because…I thought it was fun!" She admitted "but, you know what; it's not funny when people find out what you're doing and get mad…"

"Of course is not!" Said her mom angrily "Now, you need to apologize with all of us…"

"Yes mom…"She said softly "Ok, I'm really sorry guys…I…I'm not gonna make these things again…I promise…"

"Are you really sorry?" Melissa asked. Little Green Riding Hood nodded, and smiled.

"Pearl," Said Thomas "a joke is not fun when only who enjoy it. If you really want to make us laugh, you should tell us some funny jokes, so we will all laugh"

"Yes." Said Little Green Riding Hood, still smiling "Yes, I guess you're right"  
From that day on, Pearl Coldstone -Little Green Riding Hood- was a better person. She learned jokes and told them to her friends. And of course, she gave food to the poor old wolf everyday…

_**The End**_

_**A/N: **__I know, I know. It's silly.__But what can I do? It was just homework! And I wanted to share it with you guys. So, I'm sorry if you didn't like it. _

_Reviews, please! ___


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